I use Snapfish to print my photos in a book. There is a certain joy that comes from holding a physical product of your endeavours. Earlier this week, I decided to take up a deal from Snapfish on canvas prints. Initially I thought that it was going to be hard to whittle down the numerous worthy photos to just 2. The reality was that it was a struggle for me to find 2 photos that I want to display on my wall.
That got me thinking that maybe I’m not as good a photographer as I thought I was. Were those moments of glee and satisfaction I get when making photos just arrogance and false? Why did I think I was taking good shots I was not prepared to put up any of them on the wall? These dark thoughts and more were quick to rise. I took a few deep breaths and slowly took a few steps back from the cliff edge. Photography is my way to meditate and remain calm. This type of thinking does not help and runs contrary to what and who I want to be.
As much as I do not want people to judge me, I should not judge myself. In a strange way, our ability to love ourselves gives us the ability to love others. Rather than thinking that people around us physically and electronically are watching my every move, I should focus on myself. I am indulging in my what gives me joy – photography. My whole self, warts and all, is present when I step out to make photos. What film simulation/recipe I use that day, what I capture and how I edit later all reflect me on my journey.
Start with good intentions, stop worrying, keep clicking.
Photos taken on an almost spring day of 15 Aug 2020 in Auckland, New Zealand.